Dust off the Blog Machine… I’m back.

 

Yes, I know… I know.  It’s been awhile.  There is no excuse, just merely the fact that I let this thing called LIFE get in the way.  And that’s exactly the problem… Or is it?

There’s something special about posting now though, and looking back on how I’ve just let “life” get in the way these past few years…

October 21st, 2010, I pulled into Nashville, Tennessee--officially calling the South “Home.”  And although any true Southerner would say I still have a long way to go, I’m happy where I am with my “ya’lls”, Sweet Tea cravings, and yes--hollerin’ Roll Tide every now and again! … *GASP*

What a year it’s been.

And there definitely was a moment when I wasn’t all so positive, giddy and saw the world through a glittery purple window.  No, I didn’t sing Disney songs every day and smiles were hard to come by.  And while, I know... That's hard to believe, Most of you know my story.  Most have heard me grumble and giggle at the same time about how I’ve come to where I’ve come.  And most of you know how these past couple years have been a true testament to how I’ve just Let Go and Let God…and how I have let Life get in the way.

Mainly.

Or at least I've tried.

Okay, I really struggled with my "letting GO" part of life, but that's what I'm working on.  And I think it's important to admit it.  But what I can attest to is that once I DID finally just LET GOD, it all--everything--started happening so fast.

I remember vividly sitting on my couch one afternoon in November, just aggravated.  Aggravated with how much time I 'wasted', aggravated with the choices I made and mistakes I had to endure.  Aggravated I wasn't further along in my 'journey of success'.  I remember that day so vividly because it was that day I made a choice.  A choice to Jump.

I jumped.  I jumped far into unchartered waters, undiscovered territory.  I jumped to a place I had never been before that day -- I jumped to a place of the unknown.  And that was complete, and utter Faith.

It was so clear to me that I was not going to make it out alive if a part of me didn't die inside.

So I Let Go.  And Let God.

I remember putting pen to paper and 'doing away' with that year.  I said, "I'm done with you, bring on another"  I wrote everything down I saw myself doing and goals I could see reaching in the year to come.  And I began to pray.

I remember praying to God how hesitant I was of giving up the fight and letting Him take over---as if he was going to 'mess it all up for me' or something.  I remember praying, reminding Him that my desires were perfectly drafted out, in ink, for him to read--should he ever need to brush up on what "I" wanted in life, or in case he forgot.  I remember asking Him to be gentle in how he chose to use me because I was still new, and very much raw, to that whole world of, ....Trust...... and I prayed for my stresses to ease, my anxiety to leave, and my life to begin.

And begin it did.

And now here I sit, a little more than a year ago today I wrote that 'letter' to God.  And although looking back it may seem a little silly, God didn't think so.

To this day, God granted every one of those things on that list.  I didn't even KNOW about Africa, but I weirdly added #3. Go to Africa on the list..... And not only did I GO to Africa... I work for an organization where I can go to Africa all the time!  (*sidenote: sorta)  I wanted a dog.  And although the two I'm temporarily living with aren't MY dogs per-say, I have two dogs.  I mean, some of the stuff was pretty petty, but some of it was pretty intense.  All I know is GOD HEARD ME.

But I can confidently say, that without a doubt--if I still carried that control around with me, I would probably not have gotten through the first thing on that list.  I would not be where I am today.  I would not have the people in my life that I have.  I would not have the amazing amazing, life-altering challenges and obstacles that come my way, shaping and molding me into a stronger and better person.  I would not have experienced the pure JOY that I've experienced.  I would not be me today.

But I had to Let Go.  And I had to Let God do His job....  and I had to stop doing what I thought was mine.

Most people will say that letting life ‘get in the way’ is a bad thing.  It reflects a loss of control.  It sets you up for failure.  It shows a ‘wishy washy’ side to you………

I disagree.

If we didn’t let go every day, letting life take its course, we’d miss out on SO MUCH.  We’d miss those breathtaking early morning sunrises.  We’d miss the vibrant shades of red on the trees in the fall.  We’d miss on opportunities to travel to see places and people we don’t normally see.  A friend’s broken heart being mended.  Peacefulness after an intense storm.  A sweet child’s laugh at the Walmart.  Rainbows after a heavy rain.  The deepest, bellowing laugh from your friends over a glass of wine.  Waterfalls.  Massive trees.  Mountaintops.  Music.  We’d miss being completely and radically changed after being broken down.  We’d miss on the opportunity to then rise above…..

We’d miss out on SO MUCH.

So basically, I guess what it all comes down to is that we NEED to let Life GET IN THE WAY.  Like jumping out of an airplane, (which Yes--I conquered), we have to let our Faith take over that we’ll land just fine.  We have to believe life’s gonna grant us miracles.  God loves coming in and being the Host in our lives.  He loves being able to entertain our desires and fill our needs.  But We need to just throw our hands up and know Who’s in control.  We need to LET HIM COME IN.

The words my most precious and dearest Grandma Betty said to me when I was a child still play on repeat in my head.  We need to just, “Let Go and Let God.”


Looking Back, “A Year in Review”