~ ~ where some see a hopeless end, others see an endless hope ~ ~

Monday, October 07, 2013

October Skies

Oh October.  You’re back again.  I always know you’re coming, and yet, you seem to sneak up on me every year.  My what we’ve been through…

I once talked about having a band.  Not because I had talent to have a band.  But just because I wanted to call it “October Skies”.   (oh yeah right, y'all didn't ever want a band?) Because milestone are measured by things that happen in our lives.  Things that change the way we live.  And it seems like all my milestones happen in … October.

It was in October my parents were born, which… definitely signifies the greater things in life because then they met, married, and had ME of course…

It was in October my sister married her high school sweetheart. (this didn’t change me, I was still kind of a brat back then)

October 7th (*cough) was when I drove into California for the first time to start an adventure of a lifetime.

October marked Planet Hope’s annual Camp for battered and abused women and children, the nonprofit I worked for while in Los Angeles for five years.  The people I give credit to opening my eyes to bigger, better, and greater things in the world.

October hurt me in 2009, as I found out I’d be forced to leave a company I unwillingly gave everything to.

And, yet, it was that same October that became a blessing in disguise.

And as the next October would have it, to the date on the 7th, I finally made the decision to leave a world behind me.  To pack up what was left of me, and cross a bridge I so desperately needed to cross and headed out of Los Angeles for good.

October of 2010 would bring me to Nashville, change my heart, break my heart, heal my heart and burden my heart of everything that was to come in the next two years.

God gave me a vision stronger than I’ve ever felt when he gave me October of that year.

October 2011, He quietly planted a seed in my heart, when He mentioned me living somewhere I’d never been before.

And again, October 7th of 2012 rolled around, and I ran my first marathon.

You see… October has a special place in my heart.  It always has.  And here, in 2013, my October brings me Africa.  It brings me, yet again, new life.  New opportunity.  A new heart, new blessings, opened eyes.

Today.  October 7th.  As I walk to a school to bring creativity to kids who don’t think their world is as bright, who don’t think there’s much out there.  Who haven’t had a chance at more, a chance to dream.   

Maybe today, will be the start to their October…

I didn't get a band.... No.  But I still got my October Skies...

Thursday, February 14, 2013

I’ve Moved!!

Yup.  Words out.

I got a new website.

I figured, since I’m taking the big leap and moving to Africa… I might as well start everything over and fresh.

So you can follow me on my new blog + website at:


Hope you enjoy following my new journey!!

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

My Inspiration Today: For King & Country

Let's face it.  Sometimes, I find myself speechless and I just have to let the song speak what's on my mind.  (HEY.  I said... .Sometimes)

If Love isn't the binding foundation of everything you do, everything you seek, every person you reach and heart you touch... than what's the point?

You can tell me anything you want, but unless your actions show what's in the depths of your heart, your words are empty.

When we go, when we leave... there is nothing that stays behind but the pieces of our Love -- whether shattered or put together and nothing else matters.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." ~1 Corinthians 13: 1-3

"The Proof Of Your Love"

If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise
If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say

So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

If I give
To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor?
It seems all the poverty is found in me

So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
Oh, let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains

Let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
I pray this song is A.Rae of Hope for some of you.  Thank you For King & Country for the inspiration today...

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

2013's: Word for the Year: CHALLENGE

My Word for 2013:


[chal-inj] Show IPA noun, verb, chal·lenged, chal·leng·ing, adjective.
1. a call or summons to engage in any contest, as of skill, strength, etc.
2. something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc.: Space exploration offers a challenge to humankind.
3. a demand to explain, justify, etc.: a challenge to the treasurer to itemize expenditures.
4. difficulty in a job or undertaking that is stimulating to one engaged in it.
verb (used with object)
1. to summon to a contest of skill, strength, etc.
2. to take exception to; call in question: to challenge the wisdom of a procedure.
3. to demand as something due or rightful.
4. to expose an organism to a specific substance in order to assess its physiological or immunological activity.
I have a bunch of friends who do this "Word for the Year" thing and since my New Years Resolution was to NOT have a resolution, I sort of thought this would be a good alternative.
      Sidenote: There IS a reason for my non-resolution, to which I will touch on at a later date
As I sat on the airplane from Minnesota to Nashville on New Years Eve this year, I couldn't help but joyously reminisce over my past year. To sound like a broken record, a cliche, unoriginal... it was one of the most satisfying, exciting, maddening, trying, frustrating, amazing, happy, challenging years I've had. The memories I made will be cherished forever. The people I met will all have a deep deep place in my heart now and forever (yes, even you). The lessons I learned, emotions I experienced, and situations I faced have shaped me, even more, into who I'm supposed to become.
And none of it was on purpose...
... So I thought, this year: This clean + new + fresh slate I have in front of me? Let's do it ON PURPOSE. Let's live this year intentionally, wholefully, purposefully. And so it is, my word surfaced:
In 2013, I will challenge myself. I will challenge you. I will challenge those around me and hope to conquer some of life's mysteries set before me with those I love. How? Through 5 different Challenges:
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." -Romans 12:2
I challenge myself to not conform to society's ways and expectations by being myself and being real in any situation I enter, to face my fears and not back down because it's unfamiliar or unknown. To admit my weaknesses and utilize my strengths. To understand an 'empty promise' and work on conquering those strongholds.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31
I challenge myself to actually live out these messages. To make the quiet time happen. To actually dig deeper when I don't feel I can, to reach out and learn when I don't know the answer. To abandon my agenda and devote my plan to HIS will. And above all else, to pray and find comfort + peace in Him, always.
"Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body." -1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I challenge myself to not give up. To get back on the healthy lifestyle and habits I stray away from so many times. To stop using, abusing, and treating my body like a ragdoll and start living out according to the temple that lives in. And of course -- DRINK MORE WATER! :)
"When people are convinced you want something FOR them rather than something FROM them, they are less likely to be offended when you challenge them." -Andy Stanley, Deep & Wide
In a world where fast pace + chaos trumps peace + tranquility, I challenge myself to FIND THE TIME. To BE present with whomever I'm with whenever I'm with them. I challenge myself to really be the encourager I am, to push people to their best, to protect those who mean the most, to say YES more by saying NO more (it makes sense in my head). To pray over and with my friends. And this year, my biggest challenge: to understand my relational currency with people so that I MAY challenge them to go further, dig deeper, be better, and love harder so that they, too, may do the same to me.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'." -Jeremiah 29:11
I challenge myself in finding the peace that he DOES have a plan for me. That knowing I'm here in the now for a reason, and to live: here in the now. In finding hope that He holds my future, and that I can find rest in today's pleasures and joys all around me. I challenge myself to commit to 100% when I'm in the office, to devote 100% of my heart to the future journey, to bring people on board instead of pushing them away, to consult with those who've 'been there'. To soak up every experience as a learning opportunity. And above all.... TO STAY FOCUSED and MOTIVATED for what's to come...
These things, my challenges. 2013: You're going to be one of the toughest years I've had to date. And knowing what I know, being with who I know, and trusting what I know... i KNOW it's going to be one of the biggest years. Why? Because: