Goin Thru the Motions
June 2011
Have you ever seen those Money Booths where people have to jump inside and then dollar bills are blowing and swirling all around them? They scatter and stretch and reach and basically, freak out, trying to grab hold of any piece of paper that comes within their reach. Desperate to get as many dollars as they can in the little amount of time they have…
June 2011
Have you ever seen those Money Booths where people have to jump inside and then dollar bills are blowing and swirling all around them? They scatter and stretch and reach and basically, freak out, trying to grab hold of any piece of paper that comes within their reach. Desperate to get as many dollars as they can in the little amount of time they have…
… See where I’m going with this? …
It’s almost as if my life has been one giant money booth. It swirls. And scatters. And blows. Sometimes I’m able to grab hold. Other times its just too out of reach and I can’t get a firm grasp. Sometimes I just let the bills come to me. Freaking out, desperate to get as much out of it as I can, in the little amount of time I have to do so.
And so, when all this is going on at once, when it’s all spiraling around me--it seems I tend to lose sight of what it is I’m really supposed to be doing. I get so involved in the “instant gratification” that I lose the big picture benefits.
And on days like today, it gets to a place where it’s almost so overwhelming and I tend to just throw my hands up, shut down, shut off, and walk a stagnant walk throughout the day--resistant to any spiritual inspiration. I wake up, get ready for work, have my coffee, go to work, do what needs to be done and when, leave, go home, eat and sleep. Yee. Haw. Whoop. De. Doo.
And really? With the opportunities I have been blessed with. The people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve gained, where I’ve been, who I’ve worked with, the hardships and obstacles I’ve climbed and the lessons I’ve learned--this is my ammunition to be better. This should, in itself, be my inspiration to catapult through each day--BOLDLY, INTENSIVELY. Why WOULDN’T the enemy try and attack right now? When I have so much going for me? When my passion lies with the work I’m doing with Visiting Orphans and the impact it’s about to have on MY heart in a month when I travel to Ethiopia and Uganda???
Why WOULDN’T he try and take me down…
and yet… I feel like I can’t do anything.
I have trouble putting into words the actual feeling I’m having right now, but it’s like, I’m watching my life from a distance. Watching me “go through the motions” and yet, making none of a difference. When I’m usually so used to jumping in, gettin my feet wet and my hands dirty, it’s like I’m taking a backseat to it all right now. I can’t get a firm grasp on it. AND IT’S FRUSTRATING.
But I have to be enlightened. It’s times like these that I get desperate for more of an intimate relationship with the Lord--and He knows it. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and the Inspiration during my day to day. I want to live out what He has called me to do. Done with the routine. Done with the Dull. Over the redundant course of life and uneventful means of living… I want to give it my everything, so on that Day, I can, with a peaceful heart say, “Yes Lord. I tried my best.”
Thank you Matthew West for keeping me in line today. Thank you for taking me by the shoulders today and shaking that Devil right out of me. THANK YOU for your words…
Going Through the Motions, Matthew West
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way
I don't wanna go through the motions
*******************************************
Mercy & Blessings
May 2011
stagnant. a void. lull…. Empty.
Sometimes you just feel like you’re walking through the days, just to get them over and hope that the next will be better, brighter…full of some sort of “Zest”. Today may just be one of those days.
Around every corner, there has been constant reminders of how overwhelming life really can be. All in one day, it’s like you can’t take a breath or are scared of opening your eyes because the ‘next thing is about to hit.’ Waiting to hear how your roommate’s boyfriend’s surgery went--surgery to remove a Cancerous tumor. Hearing yet another update of your 5 year old little nephew’s progress in fighting his Kidney disease. Swallowing the tears when your "stronger-than-ever, pain-doesn’t-exist, invincible" Grandpa tells you he has MS. Finding out an ex is engaged, and then hearing two of your closest friends tell you they’re miserable in their marriages, when nothing but “perfection” seemed to exist on the outside. Hearing that a close HS friend dies a sudden, tragic death, leaving a young pregnant wife and mother behind. Coping through the anniversary of an uncle who took his life only a year ago today and missing him terribly. Reading blogs and posts and seeing pictures of the devastation that has so dramatically affected the lives of the most innocent little angels in the world--no clothes, no food, no teeth, no beds, water or Love.
Yeah. You could say there are days that are just a little more overwhelming than others…
And it’s days like these that when all you want to do is lie in bed and not get up, not face the world, be mad at the circumstances of “Life”…you have to remember that there’s always someone who has it worse. And by moping and ‘coping’, you aren’t helping Anything. You are allowing the enemy to win. You are blocking the chance for God to enter your Heart and work through you to bring a light, a small 'rae of hope' to those who need it most.
It’s days like these that when all I want to do is be in bed and forget about the world--that I am SO THANKFUL I have a God that plays hardball, shows me some tough love and doesn’t allow me to give in or give up. He holds me at the highest regard, and keeps me fighting for that place in His heart, to rid MY heart of the hurt. It’s days like these I stay thankful for all the blessings i DO have…
……..So, it’s like there are good days and bad days. Times when I “get it”. And times when I just ask, Why. But day by day, I think my heart and soul and spirit are all getting stronger--and I’m so thankful I have the things in my life to tell me so.
Blessings, Laura Story
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